santa's helpers

nuff said.

Yes it's true (part 1)

I got engaged!

And some may think that my delay in posting all the details about this reflects my excitement on the mattter, but that is just not the case let me assure you :)

It was 3 weeks ago today, but the whole story began about 4 months ago. Crazy how much (but really how little) time has gone by!

I met Steve through my friend Andrea at the end of August. He is a photographer and has equipment that neither myself or Andrea has... and I was in need of some help for a wedding I was shooting. So I got his number and gave him a call out of the blue to ask if I could rent some camera equipment... all details of that aside, fast forward a week or so and we had started hanging out occasionally. He was a cool guy, and I could see him being a really good friend to me. I like friends, always good to find new ones :) right?

In the middle of September, I went to Vermont with Andrea and her two girls. My texting far surpassed any records I had previously reached that trip. I felt bad on the one hand that I was texting soooo much, seriously, how rude could I be? ;) But i didn't care at the same time. I was getting to know this guy and really starting to like him. We were connecting and joking and I was really enjoying having the "company" all the time :)

By the time we came back from Vermont, I was thinking that having a relationship with someone that was mainly via text message was totally unacceptable. I needed to hang out with him more, or not be friends. Because I didn't want to pour my time into something that wasn't real.

So hang out we did.

I was totally torn. Because as much as I didn't want to admit it, I was developing feelings for him and I had done this too many times before where the other didn't reciprocate that I just didn't want to go there again. So I convinced myself that I didn't like him. And that I needed to tell him so.

Thankfully, my mom, the voice of reason in my life, gave me sage advice telling me that I needed to make sure of my feelings before I went and told him I didn't have any. I could ruin a really good friendship...

I chewed on that for a day or so... And finally thought, who am I kidding? I totally like this guy. And it would totally break my heart to not have him in my life. I was done for...

But where was he in all of this? I had no clue how he felt. I thought that he was interested because of the amount of time he would spend talking to me over text and then when we would hang out etc, but in the back of my mind I kept telling myself that he probably talks to everyone just the same, and I'm just another girl blah blah blah.

Turns out I was wrong :) And I'm so glad I was

On October 5th Steve's grandpa died. When he told me, I asked him when the funeral or the calling hours were so that I could come show support. Turned out, the calling hours were for family only... but he would like if I could come... And it would be easier for us to go together because after the calling hours, there was the funeral, the burial and the wake. So it would make sense to just do it all. At first my mouth was just hanging open. I thought, are you kidding me? I just wanted to be there for you in any way I could, I didn't expect to be initiated into his family via a funeral, especially since neither of us had expressed feelings for each other.

Well, the day came and went and at the restaurant we had the wake at, his dad openly welcomed me into the family and said how happy he was that Steve and I were becoming such good friends.

In the back of my mind, I feel like this should have stereotypically freaked me out. But it didn't. I was so comfortable with everything. I was happy that his dad said that... it made me feel so wanted! And it also made me think that maybe I wasn't a crazy woman thinking that I had feelings he didn't share with me.

Later that evening we went for a walk and between the pounding in my ears and my absolutely dry mouth I said something like this, "so, your whole family thinks we're together..." to which he responded by saying something like, "well, I told them we were friends." At that point, I freaked out inside for about 10.2 seconds thinking WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU!?!? WE JUST SPENT THE WHOLE DAY TOGETHER AT A FAMILY FUNCTION AND WE'RE JUST FRIENDS?!?!?!!?!

I calmed down though enough to think more *ahem* rationally, and decided that if he wanted to talk to me about this, that he would. And i needed to just let it go.

Later on still, he asked me what I was going to be doing the next day for my birthday, and I told him that my mom and melissa were coming over and we were going for lunch and that was about it. He asked if I wanted to go to dinner to celebrate, so I said that yes, of course I would like that :)

Aaaall day long I wondered if this was a real date or if this was him just being a good friend. When he showed up that night with flowers and a birthday present, I was like umm, yes, this is a real date :)

to be continued...

the bathroom is my favorite

Why does that sound so wrong?

It's true though. Ever since I moved into this apartment, the bathroom has been my favorite... I think honestly it's because of the wallpaper. It's vintage and eccentric at the same time. So I decided this morning, with the lovely light streaming in through the window that I would begin the tour of my little apartment. And since I'm still waiting on prints for the wall in my living room, I figured since the bathroom was done I'd start there :)



This is the view from the doorway. The flowers that Steve brought me Monday I decided to separate into 2 vases so that I could enjoy them both in the kitchen and in here :) Putting them in there made me want to make this bathroom all white and pink. I get excited easily ;)

And do you see that space between the sink and the wall where the trash is? That space was created by the devil. There is no way to reach all the way to the floor to clean in there and because of that pipe, there's no way to get in there from the front! It is a nightmare trying to clean that spot.



For some reason when they renovated this house into apartments, they decided to go the el cheapo route and install stand-only showers when there was clearly enough room for a full bath. However, I like the open space... what I don't like, is shaving my legs in the sink because the showers too small to hoist my leg up and shave with my knee in my chest.



I went back and forth on whether or not to get a shower curtain that wasn't just the liner for quite some time. But then I found these hooks that I've had for like ever that I bought on clearance at walmart.

So on the days that I'm not wanting to decorate everything in white and pink, I want to decorate everything with a hawaiian feel using these hooks as inspiration... someday I'll have enough rooms to do all this stuff!



On my night table I have this lamp that I keep on 24/7. It gives off just the right amount of light in there and makes everything feel warm. Not that I have any trouble staying warm in this apartment... I do not control the thermostat and my utilities are included in the rent... yesterday it was 85 degrees in here.



Is it wrong to want to marry wallpaper? Cuz I seriously love this wallpaper so much that I would consider it.



This cupboard has been awarded "most improved fixture" award. Originally it was a dingy yellow-ey peach color and the inside was coated with a hideous floral contact paper, that was in fact browned from possibly cigarette smoke? Or cooking grease? (ps who uses straight up grease anyways?) But there was for sure grease all over that bathroom. I had to scrub the ceiling with a sponge. gag.ma.tos.tic. However, this little cupboard was redeemed with a paint scraper and a fresh coat of white semi-gloss. It now holds my toilet paper... hey, someone's gotta do it.

So there you have it! The tour of my bathroom has come to an end. I will have more tours as the months weeks go by but I have to finish up my projects. And they will get done.

because he loves me

I could go on and on why I love these flowers...



but really, the only reason that matters is that he brought them to me :) Let's not even talk about the fact that they're green dahlias and they just happen to be my favorite right now... and he remembered that :)



*sigh* flowers in the winter make me smile... who am I kidding, flowers anytime of the year make me smile :)

do you hear what I hear?

As you may have noticed, by about oh say NOVEMBER 1st, I had already failed NaBloPoMo. I tried though, I mean, even if it wasn't going to be 30 posts in 30 days, I wanted to come darn close. And up until the 18th I was doing "ok" *ahem*

That's enough said about that. I have missed so many things in my blogging absence. Seriously, why have a blog if you're not going to blog? It adds stress to my life when i DON'T. So I do. Or at least in my head i do...

Today I had a family photoshoot out in bloomfield... which brings me to the real part of this post. Yesterday came the abrupt end to our indian summer when the fierce lake effect snow from lake erie blew in across our region. I like snow... when I don't have to get anywhere near it. It is quite pretty though, and while I was driving along the back country roads on my way back from the shoot, I passed by some very beautiful horses chowin' some hay. I decided to turn around and go back figuring that on this narrow back road, as dangerous as it might be to turn around in snow and ice, there would surely be no cars coming the other direction. Turns out I was wrong... and escaped a near mishap in my quest to photograph a horse.



They were very nice horses. Enjoying standing in the snow about as much as I was. If it weren't for the fence between us, which i realized after touching it that it was probably electric and just wasn't on *at the moment* they would have licked my hand.



I'm having a dilemma with these pictures though. Normally I don't vacillate so much when editing photos, but this time I am. So you can help me out. I put them side by side in both color and very lightly toned bw





What do you think?

I kinda think that he's asking me "do you hear what I hear?" I could be wrong... but i swear i heard him say that...

Today's Daybook

FOR TODAY...

Outside my window... a gas station and the glow of Christmas lights from the front porch

I am thinking... how beautiful the park across the street looks

I am thankful for... my amazing friends and adoring fiance (that's right, I'm engaged :D the whole story coming soon...)

I am wearing... cropped sweats and a t-shirt from doing Crossfit Geneseo baby!

I am remembering... all the things I have to do tomorrow...

I am going... to bed soon

I am currently reading... Love and Respect

I am hoping... to finish this wedding by wednesday!

On my mind... figuring out how to get more organization into my apartment

Noticing that... the holiday goodies are coming... and trying to figure out how not to go ape crazy on that!

Pondering these words... When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible!

From the kitchen... yummy italian breaded chicken, au gratin potatoes, broccoli and salad

Around the house... a gorgeous Christmas tree

One of my favorite things... watching tv while eating breakfast... don't ask lol

Join in HERE...

punkin pie phase 1

The day after Halloween Steve and I went out to find some pumpkins to make pie with.

Bad idea.

All the pumpkins had been snatched up from the night before. We checked wegmans and they said that every.single.wegmans in the greater rochester area were sold out. Seriously?

So we checked a local farm market and thankfully they had a few left. So we bought two small ones and they've since then been marking a lovely centerpiece on my kitchen table.

The goal initially was to be all romantic and whatnot and make these together, but silly things like lack of time get in the way and we haven't had the opportunity to get around to it.

And since I didn't want to wait so long that either A) Thanksgiving came and went or B) the pumpkins went rotten (probably more realistic at this point) I decided that I would bake them yesterday and begin the process

I have discovered over the last few months that I am a knife brat. My parents have always had good cutco knives and I always thought their particular*ness* with knives was a little absurd. I however, no longer think so. Not after I've been subjected to the useless sharp objects I have in my drawer that are in disguise as knives.

Cutting these pumpkins in half was a beast.

At least I didn't cut off a finger (or two) in the process. The slimy seeds were shooting out from under it and the slipperiness created between the knife, my hands and the cutting board it was actually quite miraculous no blood was shed.

Can I just tell you, I've never actually scooped out a pumpkin before. It's true, call it deprivation or whatever you want, but I truly believe now that my parents spared me from that experience intentionally.

It is not fun, it is not clean, it is not easy.

But now I have pumpkin seeds and I want to bake them and eat them. Anyone have a good recipe for doing that?

Finally, the pumpkins made it into the oven. The smell that filled this apartment was almost more than I could handle. It made me want to curl up in front of a fireplace and drink hot apple cider while listening to Christmas music and drift off to sleep. I however did only 1 out of 4 of those things. The drifting part, ha.

Now I'm on to phase 2: pureeing the pumpkin. Not sure how well that's going to go, since my blender can only handle a little at a time... but we'll see. And hopefully I'll have a pumpkin pie before Thanksgiving next week!

revelation song

I have few words today... this song is where my heart has been the last few days.



Amazing how such simple words can usher the presence of the Lord so powerfully. I'm resting in His grace and peace today.

oh, they're back

Dear Starbucks,

I know how you work. Even when you don't have your seasonal drinks on the menu, I realize that I could still order one at any point throughout the year. But if I order a grande peppermint mocha in July, not only will I not get whipped cream on top but I won't get the shamazing chocolate truffle shavings on top.

Oh.my.goodness. Christmas in a cup.



I'm a feelings girl. All about atmosphere. Therefore, I do not order peppermint mochas out of season... I wait all year for this. And you have not disappointed me.

Now if I could actually afford to drink them... ;)

oh closet how I miss you

When I was 12 and we moved into the house my parents are still at, I had the smallest bedroom and my closet was across the hall not even in my room.

I hated that bedroom. During the first year we lived there I rearranged my room about once a month because I was so dissatisfied with how it felt and because I was so unhappy about having to move.

Anyways, fast forward a few years and I finally convince my mom to let me move my bedroom to one of the back guest rooms. With the understanding that I would have to relinquish my room whenever we had company. No problem. Seriously. I got to upgrade to 2 rooms instead of 1 and also had a closet in one of the rooms. What a concept.

So after a few years being in those rooms I finally went all in and repainted and decorated to my liking. This all involved making a closet organizer to fit my stuff.



I loved having this closet organizer soooooo much. One of the things I miss most about living in this apartment now. But the closet I now have isn't so bad. I've managed to fit an amazing amount of stuff in it.

What's crazy to me though is that looking at this picture makes me realize just how much stuff I got rid of in the move. I'm glad I did though. There is so much stuff that I didn't ever use or want in there. So I gave away a ton of clothes and shoes... of which I have bought more since I moved ;)

A girl can't have too many shoes!